bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
