erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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