i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
