I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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