I cannot find my penis.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Randomize
