i just wanna soil my oats bro
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
