So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
