she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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