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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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