Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
