You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
