o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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