I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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