I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
