my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
