Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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