thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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