just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
