I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
