marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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