thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
