I puked a lego.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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