guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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