Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
