Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
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