Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
