forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Come see our sink grown plant.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
