There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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