How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
