You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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