Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
