I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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