just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
