So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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