the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
