just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
