i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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