I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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