Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
