You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
