he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
