oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Randomize
