She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Randomize
