We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
soo... how was my night?
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