This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
