So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
