So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
