I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
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