i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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