I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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