my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
He better not be in your backpack
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
